(For the record, this takes place on the planet Xhilr, and the church referred to here is often called E-P-ist, and is similar to, but not the same as, the church often called Mormon or LDS of the planet Earth.)
Sister Jones (Bishop's 1st counselor): Okay, the Bishop's Quorum has good news. Your plans for a back-to-school dinner date night for our little congregation next week have been approved. So you all can put it on your schedules.
Marta (Activities Committee Female Representative): Now remember, all of us on the committee should consider it our special duty to have dates. Girls--
Frank (Activities Committee member): Wait. If we guys say "girls", everybody gets down on us.
Samuel (Activities Committee Male Representative): If the women want to call themselves girls, that's their business.
Harry (Activities Committee member): I call discriminatory practices.
Sister Jones: Knock it off, guys.
Marta: Thank you, Counselor Jones. Now, girls, don't be too choosy when guys ask. Guys, you who are on the committee should go out of your way to ask someone who is not on the committee. In fact, ask someone you wouldn't usually ask. We want everyone in our singles' congregation there.
Frank: I'm going to show you how this is done. I'm going to go ask Chrissy.
Martin (Not a member of the committee): She's out of your league.
Harry: They told us to ask people we wouldn't usually ask, didn't they?
Frank: Got that right.
(Fist bumps all around.)
Frank: Okay, here goes.
(Frank joins a group of three women.)
Frank: (Deep breath. Gulp.) Uhm. Hi, Chrissy.
Chrissy: Mmm ... uhh, Hello, uhm, Paul, right?
Frank: Uh, er, Frank, actually.
Chrissy: Oh, sorry. Right. Frank de Lucca, right?
Frank: Well, not really. Wright.
Chrissy: Right?
Frank: Wright.
Chrissy: Right. Well, what can I do for you, Br. de Lucca?
Frank: Uhm, Wright.
Chrissy: Right, so what can I do for you?
Frank: Oh ... never mind.
(Frank returns dejectedly to the group of men.)
Chrissy: How rude!
Sarah (not a member of the committee): What was that all about?
Chrissy: I thought for sure he was going to ask me to the Autumn Dinner Date.
Jayne (not a member of the committee): Me, too. But he just turned around and walked away.
Chrissy: Without saying what he wanted or anything.
All three in chorus: Fer rude!
(Frank rejoins the other two men.)
Martin: That was brutal.
Harry: She wouldn't even let you tell her your name.
Frank: I'm mortally wounded!
(Harry and Martin laugh.)
Harry: Nah, just ask someone in your own league.
Martin: There's Sam. What's he up to?
(Sam joins the girls)
Sam: Ah, Jayne. Do you remember me from religion class last year?
Jayne: Uhm, hang on, Fred Weatherton?
Sarah: Pfft.
Sam (laughing): No, Sam. Wentworth.
Jayne (shaking her head): Sorry, don't remember.
Sarah: You don't remember Sam?
Jayne (shaking her head): No ...
Sam: Hmm. Well, maybe I shouldn't ask, then.
Chrissy: Ask her what?
Sam: You know, the Back-to-School Autumn Dinner Date next weekend, and the Activities Committee members have to ask someone they haven't really been out with.
Sarah: Yeah. That is kind of awkward.
Jayne: Oh, well, hey, where are you from?
Sam: Sunflower State. I think you told me you were from the Cactus State, didn't you?
Jayne: Wait. I remember. You're on the swimming team, right?
Sam: Yeah. Majoring in computers and education.
Jayne: Oh, yeah. You were writing an educational game based on stories in the Book of E P.
Sam: That's me!
Jayne: Did you ever finish?
Sam: About halfway. My teacher gave me credit and suggested I pick it back up in graduate work.
Jayne: Cool. Yeah. Well, the Dinner Date would be okay with me, if you wouldn't mind going with a girl who forgot you.
Sam: Thanks. This did have me kind of worried.
Sarah: I can see why.
Chrissy: Hmm. So, those three guys over there, are they on the Activities Committee, too?
Sam: Well, Harry Porter and Frank Wright are. Not Martin Mars, though.
Chrissy: Frank Wright?
Jayne: Oops.
Chrissy: That's his name? He was in my Karate class last year, and we sparred sometimes.
Jayne: Frank de Lucca?
Chrissy: Maybe there were two Franks in the class.
Sarah (laughing): Hey, Frank Wright, get back over here!
Frank: Huh?
(Frank tries to hide behind Martin, just as Marta comes up behind him.)
Marta: Hi, guys. You're being called, Frank.
Frank: Shhh!
Marta: How about if we all go over together. It'll be less scary.
Frank: Uhm ...
Harry: Okay.
(Marta and the men join the group of women and Sam.)
Chrissy: I'm sorry I forgot your name, Br. Wright. Was there a Frank de Lucca in the Karate class last year?
Frank: Yeah. He's my friend. We joined the class together.
Chrissy: Did I ever call you Paul?
Frank: Maybe.
Chrissy: I was a little nervous, you see.
Frank: You were nervous? My tongue gets stuck sometimes.
Chrissy (laughing): I say things without thinking.
Frank: Uhm. Well, ... Can I ask you to the Dinner Date next weekend, then?
Chrissy: I'd love to go with you!
Martin: Well, since we're all friendly, Sarah, could I ask you to go?
Sarah: Oh, I'm sorry, Martin, I'm busy that night.
Martin: What? You can't already have plans that night. I mean, you're not working or something, are you?
Sarah: Drama club meeting.
Martin: But, but, you have to cancel the meeting. Move the time up earlier.
Sarah: Fat chance of that. And the more you talk that way, the less likely I am to ever go out with you.
Martin: Just joking.
Sarah: Not a joke I like.
Martin: Sorry.
Sarah: Maybe I'll forgive you, but forgiving doesn't mean going out, got it?
Martin: Wow. Uhm. Got it.
Marta: Well, it's about lunchtime, who's going to the cafeteria?
Martin: But don't tell anyone I asked you, okay? I don't want somebody thinking she was my second choice.
Jayne: Our lips are sealed. Let's go for lunch.
2019-05-19
E-P-ist Millionaire Seeking Wife
Joseph Daniel Zukiger looked at the pimple-faced reflection in the mirror and sighed. Six months spending half of every working day with a nutritionist, a physical trainer, a personal coach, a hair stylist, a dermatologist, and an image specialist to clean up all his social bumps, and one full day back on the job had wrought havoc on all that had been accomplished.
Of course it wasn't the emergency eight-hour shift he had worked that had really wrought the havoc. It was the opera in the evening. The opera was quite good, but the woman he had spent the last month courting, one Millicent Alfreda Porsche, had not appreciated his vocal appreciation of the cast and chorus's work.
He wasn't the only one standing, whistling, calling, "Olé". But she had been quite put out about it. Not even willing to discuss whether the performance was good enough for him to cheer so vocally.
The (very expensive) dinner after and the chauffeured trip to her apartment had been an exercise in arctic exploration. He assumed she was putting pressure on him to apologize for the scene he had made and promise not to repeat it.
His mother had spies in the audience, in the five-star restaurant, and even watching outside her apartment. So, rather than return home where she would be waiting on the phone to analyze the entire evening, he had told his chauffeur to take him back to work, where he joined his core staff diving into the bug he had left half fixed so he could go on the date. And they had fixed it. At some cost to his complexion and his suit.
Of course it wasn't the emergency eight-hour shift he had worked that had really wrought the havoc. It was the opera in the evening. The opera was quite good, but the woman he had spent the last month courting, one Millicent Alfreda Porsche, had not appreciated his vocal appreciation of the cast and chorus's work.
He wasn't the only one standing, whistling, calling, "Olé". But she had been quite put out about it. Not even willing to discuss whether the performance was good enough for him to cheer so vocally.
The (very expensive) dinner after and the chauffeured trip to her apartment had been an exercise in arctic exploration. He assumed she was putting pressure on him to apologize for the scene he had made and promise not to repeat it.
His mother had spies in the audience, in the five-star restaurant, and even watching outside her apartment. So, rather than return home where she would be waiting on the phone to analyze the entire evening, he had told his chauffeur to take him back to work, where he joined his core staff diving into the bug he had left half fixed so he could go on the date. And they had fixed it. At some cost to his complexion and his suit.
He supposed he was disappointed for all the specialists he had hired, disappointed for the professional matchmaker, too.
Mostly he was disappointed for his mom. She had so many expectations and none of them were coming to fruition. She wanted grandchildren, and what she had was a pimply, socially awkward, single, adult son with a successful business and enough profits safely invested away to retire and live comfortably for the rest of his life -- as long as the economy didn't suddenly go belly-up.
Mostly he was disappointed for his mom. She had so many expectations and none of them were coming to fruition. She wanted grandchildren, and what she had was a pimply, socially awkward, single, adult son with a successful business and enough profits safely invested away to retire and live comfortably for the rest of his life -- as long as the economy didn't suddenly go belly-up.
His parents hadn't wanted the new house or the new car he had suggested. They wanted grandkids and a daughter-in-law.
But for himself, he wasn't disappointed at all. One more gold-digger retired. He was much more comfortable with all his personality bumps, edges, and awkwardnesses showing. And his opinion, not well accepted with his mother, was that any woman who would be persuaded by the artificial changes would be a woman he would not want to spend a whole lot of time with, much less the rest of eternities.
So he pulled off his suit and shirt, threw them over the back of his chair, set the alarm for 10:00 AM, gave a moment of appreciation to taking in the beautiful sunrise outside his window, and fell into his bed. He was unconscious before he hit the mattress.
At 10:15, he walked into the office in his wrinkled suit and without his tie, whistling "Let It Go" and grinning. All his staff cheered. James, his office manager and chief of sales, returned his grin and said, "Welcome back."
Sherry, his partner and second-in-command smiled broadly and gave him a thumbs up. She was also running on three hours of sleep, and looked it.
The door opened behind him and the cheering suddenly faded. He stopped whistling and turned around, his shoulders slumping.
"Joseph, I am disappointed."
"Mom, --"
From behind her, Jenny, his personal coach, a cheerful dancer of modern dance, interrupted. "Sister Zukiger, I'm not sure this is even a setback."
More than once, he had wished his personal coach were not already married.
"Quiet. I am taking charge now."
Something inside was rising, but he automatically suppressed it. Habit long in-grained took care of any rebellious thoughts.
From out in the hall, Sheliah, the matchmaker said, "I think it's time for a new plan."
Without thinking, he said, "Okay, what's your plan?"
In the sudden silence, you could have heard a feather drop, if his mother had worn one of her hats that shed feathers.
But she hadn't today.
She remembered to close her mouth and turned toward the door. "Yes. What's your new plan?" Surprisingly, her voice was neither querulous nor sarcastic. A collective sigh of relief could be felt, if not heard.
She remembered to close her mouth and turned toward the door. "Yes. What's your new plan?" Surprisingly, her voice was neither querulous nor sarcastic. A collective sigh of relief could be felt, if not heard.
"Reality TV. A contest. E-P-ist millionaire seeking wife."
Mentally, Joseph Daniel Zukiger put palm to forehead. But his mother had turned around, raising an eyebrow. It looked like she wanted him to agree.
Behind her, Sheliah was nodding, with a finger to her lips, and Jenny gave him a wink.
"Oh, whatever." He raised his hands in the air. "I need to make sure the bug we squashed a few hours ago will remain squashed, so all of my training sessions this morning are cancelled. Everybody take a day off."
His mother stood, arms akimbo, frowning.
"Okay, Mom, tomorrow morning. Sheliah can tell us about her plan then."
His mother thought for a moment, then nodded. "Eight o'clock, sharp." Then she turned and left. Jenny and Sheliah waved cheerfully and followed her.
He retired into the server room to check the last three hours' worth of logs, and Sherry joined him. "Maybe all this training isn't going to waste. You stood up to your mother today."
"Sort-of."
"It's a good start. Look at the transaction roll-back logs."
"What roll-back logs?"
"That's the point."
"Uh-oh, there should be something there for three hours worth of business." We dug in.
Mentally, Joseph Daniel Zukiger put palm to forehead. But his mother had turned around, raising an eyebrow. It looked like she wanted him to agree.
Behind her, Sheliah was nodding, with a finger to her lips, and Jenny gave him a wink.
"Oh, whatever." He raised his hands in the air. "I need to make sure the bug we squashed a few hours ago will remain squashed, so all of my training sessions this morning are cancelled. Everybody take a day off."
His mother stood, arms akimbo, frowning.
"Okay, Mom, tomorrow morning. Sheliah can tell us about her plan then."
His mother thought for a moment, then nodded. "Eight o'clock, sharp." Then she turned and left. Jenny and Sheliah waved cheerfully and followed her.
He retired into the server room to check the last three hours' worth of logs, and Sherry joined him. "Maybe all this training isn't going to waste. You stood up to your mother today."
"Sort-of."
"It's a good start. Look at the transaction roll-back logs."
"What roll-back logs?"
"That's the point."
"Uh-oh, there should be something there for three hours worth of business." We dug in.
This conversation on the LDS Beta Readers FaceBook group talking about the person calling himself a Mormon millionaire, proposing to find his wife by advertising on billboards and running what is essentially a contest was the spark for the flash piece:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/475461645922698/permalink/1552836624851856/
It looks like it may turn into a novel: https://joelrees-novels.blogspot.com/2019/05/jdz-millionaire-the-campaign-idea.html
And this is the flash piece as I originally posted it in the LDSBR FB group:
Joseph Daniel Zukiger looked at the pimple-faced reflection in the mirror and sighed. Six months with a nutritionist, a physical trainer, a personal coach, a hair stylist, and an image specialist to clean up all those social bumps, and one full day back on the job had wrought havoc on all that had been accomplished.
He was disappointed for all the specialists he had hired, disappointed for the professional matchmaker, too. Mostly he was disappointed for his mom. She had so many expectations and none of them were coming to fruition. She wanted grandchildren, and what she had was a pimply, socially awkward single adult son with a successful business and enough profits safely invested away to retire and live comfortably for the rest of his life -- as long as the economy didn't suddenly go belly-up.
His parents hadn't wanted the new house or the new car he had suggested. They wanted grandkids and a daughter-in-law.
But he wasn't disappointed for himself. He was simply more comfortable with all the personality bumps, edges, and awkwardness.
So he pulled off his shirt, set the alarm for 10:00 AM, took a look out the window at the beautiful sunrise, and fell into his bed. He was unconscious before he hit the mattress.
At 10:15, he walked into his office in his wrinkled suit, whistling "Let It Go" and grinning. All his staff cheered. James, his office manager and chief of sales, said, "Welcome back."
Sherry, his second in the software department gave him a thumbs up.
The door opened behind him and the cheering suddenly faded. He stopped whistling and turned around, his shoulders slumping.
"Joseph, I am disappointed."
"Mom, --"
From behind her, Jenny, his personal coach, a cheerful dancer of modern dance, interrupted. "Sister Zukiger, I'm not sure this is even a setback."
More than once, he had wished his personal coach were not already married.
"Quiet. I am taking charge now."
Something inside was rising, but he automatically suppressed it. Habit long in-grained took care of any rebeliuos thoughts.
From out in the hall, Sheliah, the matchmaker said, "I think it's time for a new plan."
Without thinking, he said, "Okay, what's your plan?"
In the sudden silence, you could have heard a feather drop, if any hats had been dropping feathers.
His mother remembered to close her mouth and turned toward the door. "Yes. What's your new plan?" Her voice was neither querilous nor sarcastic. A collective sigh of relief could be heard.
"Reality TV. A contest. E-P-ist millionaire seeking wife."
2019-05-06
Close Holidays? 祝日に近いもの？祝日を閉めるべし？
Hal: Look at that sign!
[あの標識見てよ。]
Kay: Sign? What sign?
[標識？何の標識]
Hal: On that store.
[あの店の。]
Bee: Business hours. So what?
[営業時間。それで？]
Hal: But it's wrong!
[間違っているよ!]
Kay: ”Ten to Twenty-two.” That's ten o' clock in the morning to ten at night. But today's a Holiday, so today doesn't count.
["10:00~22:00." 朝の10時から夜の10時までやで。だけど今日は祝日。今日は別やな。]
Bee: See? It even says, "Close holidays."
[見て見、 "Close holidays" まで書いてある。]
Hal: That's the point!
[そうよ。そのことや。]
Bee: What's the point? It's a holiday. It's closed.
[なんだ。祝日だ。閉店。]
Hal: Like you say. It's "closed". C L O S E D. Not close like a command to shut the door. Not close like nearby. Closed. Past participle as an adjective.
[おっしゃる通り。「閉店され」ている。 C L O S E Dやで。ドアを閉めろの命令でも、近くに居るわけでもない。「閉鎖中」。過去分詞が形容詞の役を。]
Kay: Okay, so it should say "Opened", too, then?
[まあ、そういうなら、 "Opened" とも書いてあるはずやん。]
Hal: No, of course not. Open can be either an adjective or a verb.
[まさか。ちゃうねん。 Open だって、動詞でも形容詞でも活躍する。]
Bee: We-ell, so can close.
[じゃあっ、 close もそうだ。]
Hal: Not when you pronounce it with a "z" sound, it can't! It's the "s" sound when it's an adjective. Right?
[イヤイヤ、ザ行の「ズ」の場合はできない。形容詞の場合はサ行の「ス」やんか。]
Kay: So maybe they meant the "s" sound when they made the sign.
[なら、標識を使ったのは 「ス」の発音のつもりだったのかな?]
Hal: But "close" as an adjective means "nearby", not "closed".
[それでは、形容詞の "close" は「近くに」の意味なはず。「閉鎖中」ではありません。]
Matsu: Hi. I own this store. May I help you?
[今日は。僕、この店の持ち主しておりますが、何れ御用に役に立てませんでしょう？]
Hal: Huh?
[ハァ？]
Matsu: I stay close by the store on holidays, you see.
[休日は、ごらんの通り、いつも近くに居ります。]
Hal: Oh. Uh. I was just --
[ァ！あの、ただ…]
Bee: Yeah, actually, you carry hobby stuff, right?
[まあ、ほんなら、ホビー類のご取扱いですね。]
Matsu: That's right.
[さよ。]
Bee: Do you have electronics?
[電子系は置いてありますか?]
Matsu: We only stock some basic parts and kits, but we can order things like special parts for the Pi and Arduino, and op-amps, just about anything. And we have workbenches with oscilloscopes and other tools that you can rent by the hour.
[在庫は基本部品とキットだけですが、大体何でも注文できます。たとえば、パイやアルデュイーノの特別部品やオペアンプなど。それに、作業台やオシロスコープなどの道具を時間ごとの貸し出しをさせていただきます。]
Kay: Cool.
[かっこええ]
Matsu: Lots of people take a fancy to doing hobbies on the holidays, so I stay close by on the holiday.
[いろんなお客様は休日になったら、気まぐれでも趣味にかかわりたいことを思い出してくれるのでございます。ですから、近くに居ることにしております。]
Hal: Well, ... well, ... then you should say, "close by" or something, because "close" looks like you just made a mistake.
[で…は…それだったら、 "close by" とかでも言うべきではないでしょう？ "Close" と言っているのはただの間違いのようですから。]
Matsu: Hmm. Maybe so. I guess I could go 3-D print a new sign pretty easily. "Close by"?
[まあ、もしかしてそう。新しい標識をまあまあ簡単に３次元印刷でもできないことないし。]
Hal: Uhm, maybe, "Available", instead. Or, "Ring the bell." You need more explanation.
[えぇっと、もしかして、その代わりに「利用可能」とか「お呼び出し下さい。」とか、もっと説明したらいいと思う。]
Bee: Do you have the latest Pi that we could look at?
[ちなみに、パイの最新型が在庫、見せていただけません？]
Matsu: Sure, do you want to come in?
[きっと。中へとあがって下さい。]
Kay: This is cool stuff! EPROM burners and programmable logic programmers, debug harness, circuit design software, ...
[格好ええ！イープロムや変更可回路の書き込み機、デバッグようのインターフェース、回路設計ソフト…]
Bee: Yeah. All that stuff that we always thought we had to use Brain-Semi's CPUs running TinyAlgorithms operating systems to do.
[な！一昔、「超小型手順社」の操作体系が「脳半導体社」の中央演算処理装置で動いていなかったら無理だと思った色んなものですね。]
Hal: You guys always teased me for not using that stuff everybody's been brainwashed into believing was industry standard.
[あんたらいつもバカにしてくれたんやな、だいたい皆が洗脳され、企業の標準と思っているものを使わない俺を。]
Matsu: Excuse me, but could I ask your opinions?
[もうしわけないけど、ご意見を聞かしていただけませんでしょう?]
Bee: Oh. New signs. Designed on the Pi.
[アっ。新しい標識だ。パイ上で設計をされ。]
Hal: Yep. He made them on the Pi.
[やっぱり。パイ上で作ってる。]
Kay: Looks good to me.
[よさそう。]
Bee: Me, too.
[ぼくも賛成。]
Matsu: Which do you like best?
[どちらがお気に入りですか？]
Hal: The last one is kind of plain. I think I prefer "call us about".
[後方がなんと地味なように感じます。"Call us about" の方がベスト、かな？]
Bee: I like "Available" best.
[ぼくは "Available" の方がいい。]
Kay: I like 'em all. Which looks good to you?
[どちもええと思う。どうですか。]
Matsu: Hmm ...
[まあ…]
[JMR20190529:
You know, thinking this over, I'm probably the odd man out here. If the sign in the store says "CLOSED" or "CLOSE", we know what it means, and, even among native speakers, people who care whether the past participle is used or not are probably in the minority.
良く考えると、はみ出ているやつはこの俺かも知れません。標識には "CLOSED" と書いてあっても "CLOSE" と書いてあってもわかるし、ネイティヴで英語しゃべる人の中でも、過去分詞の使い方に気を掛ける人がそれほどでもないようです。
In many countries where the majority do not natively speak English, you will find the grammar in such signs is not the (currently) correct grammar. That usage is now entering the US and the UK proper, simply because it is easier to think of "CLOSE" as the opposite of "OPEN". And lots of people outside those two countries are doing it that way, and few travelers ever take the time to mention why the grammar is wrong.
生まれながら英語でしゃべる人が小半数の国には、こういう標識に現れる文法が（つまり現在の）標準文法から外れていることに気が付くでしょう。この "OPEN" と "CLOSE" の非標準文法が英米に逆流し始めている様子が見えます。やはり、 "CLOSE" が "OPEN" の反対だと、簡単に考えられ、英米の国の国境を超えるところにはそのままが多いのです。どうして文法が間違っているかを説明する旅行者が多く居ません。
Anyway.
さて、と。]
[あの標識見てよ。]
Kay: Sign? What sign?
[標識？何の標識]
Hal: On that store.
[あの店の。]
Bee: Business hours. So what?
[営業時間。それで？]
Hal: But it's wrong!
[間違っているよ!]
Kay: ”Ten to Twenty-two.” That's ten o' clock in the morning to ten at night. But today's a Holiday, so today doesn't count.
["10:00~22:00." 朝の10時から夜の10時までやで。だけど今日は祝日。今日は別やな。]
Bee: See? It even says, "Close holidays."
[見て見、 "Close holidays" まで書いてある。]
Hal: That's the point!
[そうよ。そのことや。]
Bee: What's the point? It's a holiday. It's closed.
[なんだ。祝日だ。閉店。]
Hal: Like you say. It's "closed". C L O S E D. Not close like a command to shut the door. Not close like nearby. Closed. Past participle as an adjective.
[おっしゃる通り。「閉店され」ている。 C L O S E Dやで。ドアを閉めろの命令でも、近くに居るわけでもない。「閉鎖中」。過去分詞が形容詞の役を。]
Kay: Okay, so it should say "Opened", too, then?
[まあ、そういうなら、 "Opened" とも書いてあるはずやん。]
Hal: No, of course not. Open can be either an adjective or a verb.
[まさか。ちゃうねん。 Open だって、動詞でも形容詞でも活躍する。]
Bee: We-ell, so can close.
[じゃあっ、 close もそうだ。]
Hal: Not when you pronounce it with a "z" sound, it can't! It's the "s" sound when it's an adjective. Right?
[イヤイヤ、ザ行の「ズ」の場合はできない。形容詞の場合はサ行の「ス」やんか。]
Kay: So maybe they meant the "s" sound when they made the sign.
[なら、標識を使ったのは 「ス」の発音のつもりだったのかな?]
Hal: But "close" as an adjective means "nearby", not "closed".
[それでは、形容詞の "close" は「近くに」の意味なはず。「閉鎖中」ではありません。]
Matsu: Hi. I own this store. May I help you?
[今日は。僕、この店の持ち主しておりますが、何れ御用に役に立てませんでしょう？]
Hal: Huh?
[ハァ？]
Matsu: I stay close by the store on holidays, you see.
[休日は、ごらんの通り、いつも近くに居ります。]
Hal: Oh. Uh. I was just --
[ァ！あの、ただ…]
Bee: Yeah, actually, you carry hobby stuff, right?
[まあ、ほんなら、ホビー類のご取扱いですね。]
Matsu: That's right.
[さよ。]
Bee: Do you have electronics?
[電子系は置いてありますか?]
Matsu: We only stock some basic parts and kits, but we can order things like special parts for the Pi and Arduino, and op-amps, just about anything. And we have workbenches with oscilloscopes and other tools that you can rent by the hour.
[在庫は基本部品とキットだけですが、大体何でも注文できます。たとえば、パイやアルデュイーノの特別部品やオペアンプなど。それに、作業台やオシロスコープなどの道具を時間ごとの貸し出しをさせていただきます。]
Kay: Cool.
[かっこええ]
Matsu: Lots of people take a fancy to doing hobbies on the holidays, so I stay close by on the holiday.
[いろんなお客様は休日になったら、気まぐれでも趣味にかかわりたいことを思い出してくれるのでございます。ですから、近くに居ることにしております。]
Hal: Well, ... well, ... then you should say, "close by" or something, because "close" looks like you just made a mistake.
[で…は…それだったら、 "close by" とかでも言うべきではないでしょう？ "Close" と言っているのはただの間違いのようですから。]
Matsu: Hmm. Maybe so. I guess I could go 3-D print a new sign pretty easily. "Close by"?
[まあ、もしかしてそう。新しい標識をまあまあ簡単に３次元印刷でもできないことないし。]
Hal: Uhm, maybe, "Available", instead. Or, "Ring the bell." You need more explanation.
[えぇっと、もしかして、その代わりに「利用可能」とか「お呼び出し下さい。」とか、もっと説明したらいいと思う。]
Bee: Do you have the latest Pi that we could look at?
[ちなみに、パイの最新型が在庫、見せていただけません？]
Matsu: Sure, do you want to come in?
[きっと。中へとあがって下さい。]
Kay: This is cool stuff! EPROM burners and programmable logic programmers, debug harness, circuit design software, ...
[格好ええ！イープロムや変更可回路の書き込み機、デバッグようのインターフェース、回路設計ソフト…]
Bee: Yeah. All that stuff that we always thought we had to use Brain-Semi's CPUs running TinyAlgorithms operating systems to do.
[な！一昔、「超小型手順社」の操作体系が「脳半導体社」の中央演算処理装置で動いていなかったら無理だと思った色んなものですね。]
Hal: You guys always teased me for not using that stuff everybody's been brainwashed into believing was industry standard.
[あんたらいつもバカにしてくれたんやな、だいたい皆が洗脳され、企業の標準と思っているものを使わない俺を。]
Matsu: Excuse me, but could I ask your opinions?[もうしわけないけど、ご意見を聞かしていただけませんでしょう?]
Bee: Oh. New signs. Designed on the Pi.
[アっ。新しい標識だ。パイ上で設計をされ。]
Hal: Yep. He made them on the Pi.
[やっぱり。パイ上で作ってる。]
Kay: Looks good to me.
[よさそう。]
[ぼくも賛成。]
Matsu: Which do you like best?
[どちらがお気に入りですか？]
Hal: The last one is kind of plain. I think I prefer "call us about".
[後方がなんと地味なように感じます。"Call us about" の方がベスト、かな？]
Bee: I like "Available" best.
[ぼくは "Available" の方がいい。]
Kay: I like 'em all. Which looks good to you?
[どちもええと思う。どうですか。]
Matsu: Hmm ...
[まあ…]
[JMR20190529:
You know, thinking this over, I'm probably the odd man out here. If the sign in the store says "CLOSED" or "CLOSE", we know what it means, and, even among native speakers, people who care whether the past participle is used or not are probably in the minority.
良く考えると、はみ出ているやつはこの俺かも知れません。標識には "CLOSED" と書いてあっても "CLOSE" と書いてあってもわかるし、ネイティヴで英語しゃべる人の中でも、過去分詞の使い方に気を掛ける人がそれほどでもないようです。
In many countries where the majority do not natively speak English, you will find the grammar in such signs is not the (currently) correct grammar. That usage is now entering the US and the UK proper, simply because it is easier to think of "CLOSE" as the opposite of "OPEN". And lots of people outside those two countries are doing it that way, and few travelers ever take the time to mention why the grammar is wrong.
生まれながら英語でしゃべる人が小半数の国には、こういう標識に現れる文法が（つまり現在の）標準文法から外れていることに気が付くでしょう。この "OPEN" と "CLOSE" の非標準文法が英米に逆流し始めている様子が見えます。やはり、 "CLOSE" が "OPEN" の反対だと、簡単に考えられ、英米の国の国境を超えるところにはそのままが多いのです。どうして文法が間違っているかを説明する旅行者が多く居ません。
Anyway.
さて、と。]
2018-08-13
Paid Date (Take 4)
Paid
Date
by
Joel Matthew Rees,
November
2017 to August 2018, Amagasaki, Japan
Copyright 2017, 2018 Joel Matthew Rees
We
have some minor business today in a clean, modern health food
sandwich shop.
We
note three young men sitting at a table, talking, but not ordering.
The youngest of the three is one of our charges, and we bear certain
responsibilities for the older two by dint of their relationship to
him. Behind the counter, the chef and his sole staff at present, a
young woman who is also one of our charges, discuss the three young
men quietly.
The
door of the shop jangles open and a young man, yet another of our
charges, enters, carrying a basketball against his hip. He spots the
three and hails the youngest.
"Hey,
Bru, who's your friends?"
"Yo,
Kurt," Bruce
raises
his fist for a back-of-the-hand bump as Kurt approaches. "My
homies."
"Bru’s
Bros," Kurt nods to the two young men sitting across from his
friend. “Kurt Hier.”
"Robert,"
the younger of the two declares, kicking his head back slightly in
greeting.
Kurt
responds in kind.
"Rob's
just back from his mission in the Ukraine."
Bruce moves over a bit so Kurt can slide in beside him.
"Gareth,"
the older inclines his head slightly.
Kurt
returns the nod.
"Gar's
in his last
year of college."
The
four talk briefly of school and missions.
"So,"
Kurt leans back,
"what's
up?"
Gareth
leans
forward conspiratorially,
"Bru says you get around."
Kurt
gives
him a blank look.
"With
the women!"
Robert
lets his enthusiasm get ahead of him.
Kurt
tilts
his head, "Nah,
I just make sure I date twice a month, rarely the same woman twice.
Keeps the Relief Society President happy."
"Do
you kiss 'em all?" Robert
is
not to be discouraged.
"Bruce,
homies or tennis team, this is a breach of etiquette. Why am I here?"
Bruce
visibly backpedals.
"Guys, I don't know why I let you talk me into this."
Gareth
glances
in the direction of the order
counter and leans
forward again, speaking in a low voice. "Bru says
good things about you, and we’ve got
a favor to ask.
Could
make
it
worth your while, something
like
a fifty ..."
Kurt
frowns. "I can tell I have doubts."
Gareth
and Robert are suddenly quiet.
"Uhm,
guys," the young woman’s voice breaks in from behind Kurt, "I
don't own this place. Somebody has to order something."
We
note Kurt's
eyes
widen slightly at the sound of her voice. "Got something 100%
from the tree, no added sugar?" he asks without turning around.
"Apple
or mango today," she replies, a laugh covering a catch in her
voice, "if reconstituted's okay."
"Mango
sounds good. Rob's buying."
Robert
starts.
"Just
kidding," Kurt turns with a grin to get a look at the young
woman, who is studiously checking her order pad. "I'll take a
mango."
She
nods without looking up.
The
brothers laugh. But
with Kurt having ordered they find it awkward to delay further, and
each orders something to drink.
"That
was easier than usual. Thanks, guys."
"Sure,
Bree," Bruce grins. The four all chorus their agreement.
She
smiles lopsidedly and returns to the counter.
"You
didn’t tell me -- that you have a sister, Bru," Kurt observes,
watching her fill their drinks. "Twin?"
"Yeah,
Brianna."
"She
looks like you."
Bruce
studies his feet.
"And,
if I were guessing," Kurt continues, "you three had the
less-than-stellar idea to try to pay me to insert her into my dating
schedule."
"Is
it such a bad idea?" Robert asks
defensively.
"Ask
Bru."
Bruce
doesn’t
look up.
"You
have Bru’s recommendation," Gareth goes on the attack, "and
I can think of worse reasons to date."
"I
can think of better."
"True,"
Robert acknowledges, and the conversation wanders off into dating
experiences.
"Here’s
your drinks, guys."
There
is a chorus of thanks and some small talk before Brianna returns to
the kitchen area.
"Tell
you what," Kurt swirls
his ice,
still observing
Brianna
and the chef at work,
"I'll forgive you guys if you can take me in a little hoop."
He nods
at the park across the street, visible
through the window.
"Huh?"
Both older brothers
evidence confusion.
"Three
on one," Kurt grins.
"Bru
says
you
can be
cocky, but, ...," Gareth laughs,
"forgive?"
"Meaning
I
refrain from punishing you for asking me to insult your
sister
by accepting money to take her out."
Robert
raises
an
eyebrow,
"If you somehow
win?"
"I
choose your penance."
"Let's
see
if you’re as
good as
Bru says,"
Gareth snickers.
But
Bruce rolls
his eyes.
The
young men pay
for their drinks and go
outside into the summer heat.
An
hour later, they file back inside, laughing and sweating profusely.
"So,
what's this penance we have to do?" Robert asks
as they sit
down.
"Let's
see if we can make the punishment fit the crime."
"Incoming,"
Bruce signals
quietly.
"Uhm,
the boss says
--"
"I
could use a small tofu
burger
and a salad after that workout,"
Kurt grins, with raised eyebrows. "What
about you guys?"
The
three brothers look at each other.
"Didn't
someone mention a canceled,"
he coughs,
"...
project,
and some leftover funds?"
"Uh,
I guess so," Gareth hesitates.
"Well,
I could think of worse things to do with it than
get something to eat,"
Kurt says pointedly,
"if
the money were mine."
Persuaded,
the
brothers
each order
something, and the four
talk while they eat.
As they
pay and leave, they
all say
goodbye to Brianna and the chef.
--
Three
weeks later, we again have business in the area of the sandwich shop.
Kurt and the three brothers are playing two-on-two in the park.
"You
know," Kurt says as Gareth rebounds, "you guys still
haven't finished your penance."
"Foul!"
Gareth calls, "Who can play with you tossing comments like
elbows?"
Everyone
laughs.
Robert
leans on his knees, breathing hard. "Wasn't the penance to quit
pushing Bree to date?"
"How
many dates has she been on since I told you to knock it off?"
"Two
last week, and she's got one tonight."
"So,
basically, she just needed less interference from you guys."
Kurt
steals the ball and passes it to Bruce, who drops in an uncontested
layup.
"Let's
break for some food."
The
brothers agree.
The
four of them cross the street and enter the sandwich shop. (We
follow, unnoticed, as always.)
"Hey,
Bree!" Four young men chorus.
"Hi,
guys, ya eatin' today?"
"Yeah.
Mom'll complain, we know," Robert laughs.
"Your
mom might, but I won’t!" the chef calls out from behind the
grill.
Brianna
laughs, too.
While
the four talk after ordering, Kurt watches Brianna, deep in thought.
"I
don't get it," Gareth asks quietly.
"What?"
"You
do like Bree."
"Yeah."
"Kurt’s
decided to ask her out after school starts, and he wants us to give
her static about it. Reverse psychology," Bruce explains in low
tones.
"What's
with the whispering?" Brianna asks from behind the counter,
collecting the brothers’ orders.
"Kurt
says he thinks he's in love with you," Gareth replies, normal
voice. "Ouch. Now he's kicking me."
"I'll
kick him, too, Ddaear
Tywysog,"
Brianna brings the brothers' orders with a laugh.
"Toy
arg divvy what?"
two brothers ask in unison as she returns to the counter.
"Earth
Prince?” Bruce mutters to himself.
Kurt
stands, slightly dazed. "Dywysoges
Dŵr. Ti'n cofio!"
Three
brothers turn to stare at him, puzzled.
Again
Bruce mutters, “Water Princess? And what does she remember?”
"Of
course I haven’t forgotten," she smiles, returning with Kurt's
order. "And you can call me when we get to school next week and
my brothers are nicely out of the way."
Kurt
looks chagrined. "You're gonna make me wait 'til we're back at
school to remind me why I've been pretending we haven't met?"
"Well,
I appreciate it, anyway," Brianna winks at Kurt.
"Wait,"
Bruce guesses. "Last summer, I let my twin sister go to Wales
without me for a little family history research with Mom and Dad,
because I have basketball camp. And she comes home with the coolest
boyfriend that she refuses to tell us about. But I have to
re-introduce you two a year later?"
"Not
exactly," Kurt hedges.
"Close
enough," Brianna smiles.
Having
business elsewhere, and our business here being complete for the day,
we leave Earth Prince and Water Princess with her brothers, to their
own devices.
[18 August 2018]
=*=*=*=*=
[I wrote the original of this, which can be found here, for a flash fiction anthology.
It became the seed of a novel I'm working on here.
I was informed that it didn't fit in with the rest, so I tried rewriting it to fit, for example, here.
I knew that it was too cryptic, but my efforts to open up the backstory just ended in confusion until last Saturday, when I started adjusting the POV to match the novel's POV.
This version slowly came together, and I more-or-less finished it between meetings, family business, and work, from Saturday to this afternoon, too late for the anthology.
When it goes into the novel, it will be split up a bit, so I'm putting this version here just for the record.
JMR201808132110]
=<*>=<*>=<*>=<*>=<*>=<*>=
[Version from 2018.08.13 follows:
Paid Date (Take 4)
by Joel Matthew Rees,
November 2017 to August 2018, Amagasaki, Japan
Copyright 2017, 2018, Joel Matthew Rees
The door of the sandwich shop jangles open and a young man, one of our charges, enters, carrying a basketball. He spots three more young men, also among our charges, seated together.
"Hey, Bru, who's your friends?"
"Yo, Kurt." Bruce raises his fist for a back-hand bump as Kurt approaches. "My homies."
Kurt nods to the two young men sitting across from his friend. "Bru's Bros."
"Robert." The younger of the two kicks his head back slightly in greeting and Kurt responds in kind.
"Rob's just back from his mission in the Ukraine." Bruce slides over a bit and Kurt slides in beside him, basketball in his lap.
"Gareth." The older inclines his head slightly and Kurt returns the nod.
"Gar's got one more year of college."
The four talk briefly of school and missions.
"So," Kurt leans back, "what's up?"
Gareth leans forward conspiratorially. "Bru says you get around."
Kurt gives him a blank look.
"With the women!" Robert's enthusiasm is evident.
Kurt tilts his head. "Nah, just make sure I date twice a month, rarely the same woman twice. Keeps the Relief Society President happy."
"Do you kiss 'em all?" Robert is not to be discouraged.
"Bruce, homies or tennis team, this is a breach of etiquette. Why am I here?"
Bruce backpedals. "Guys, I don't know why I let you talk me into this."
Gareth glances in the direction of the order counter and leans forward again, speaking in a low voice, "Bru says good things about you, and we've got a favor to ask. Could make it worth your while, something like a fifty ..."
Kurt frowns. "I can tell I have doubts."
"Uhm, guys." A young woman's voice breaks in from behind Kurt. "I don't own this place. Somebody has to order something."
This young woman is, of course, another of our charges. We note Kurt's eyes widen slightly at the sound of her voice.
"Got something 100% from the tree, no added sugar?" he asks without turning around.
"Apple or mango today," she replies, a laugh covering a catch in her voice. "If reconstituted's okay."
"Mango sounds good. Rob's buying."
Robert starts.
"Just kidding." Kurt turns with a grin to get a look at the young woman, who is studiously checking her order book. "I'll take a mango."
She nods without looking up.
The brothers laugh, but with Kurt having ordered they find it awkward to delay further, and each orders something to drink.
"That was easier than usual. Thanks, guys."
"Sure, Bree." Bruce grins. The four all chorus their agreement.
She smiles lopsidedly and returns to the counter.
"You didn't tell me -- that you have a sister, Bru." Kurt observes, watching her retreat. "Twin?"
"Yeah. Brianna."
"She looks like you."
Bruce studies his feet.
"And, if I were guessing," Kurt continues, "you three had the stupid idea to try to pay me to insert her into my dating schedule."
"Is it really so stupid?" Robert asks defensively.
"Ask Bru."
Bruce doesn't look up.
"You have Bru's recommendation," Gareth goes on the attack. "And I can think of worse reasons to date."
"I can think of better."
"True," Robert acknowledges, and the conversation wanders off into dating experiences.
"Here's your drinks, guys."
There is a chorus of thanks and some small talk before Brianna returns to the kitchen area.
"Tell you what." Kurt swirls his ice, observing Brianna and the chef at work. "I'll forgive you guys if you can take me in a little hoop." He nods at the park across the street, visible through the window.
"Huh?" Both older brothers evidence confusion.
"Three on one." Kurt grins.
"Bru says you can be cocky, but, ..." Gareth laughs. "Forgive?"
"Meaning I refrain from punishing you for asking me to insult your sister by accepting money to take her out."
Robert raises an eyebrow. "If you somehow win?"
"I choose your penance."
"Let's see if you're as good as Bru says." Gareth snickers.
But Bruce rolls his eyes.
The boys pay for their drinks and go outside into the summer heat.
An hour later, they file back inside, laughing and sweating profusely.
"So, what's this penance we have to do?" Robert asks as they sit down.
"Let's see if we can make the punishment fit the crime."
"Incoming!" Bruce signals.
"Uhm, the boss says --"
"I could use a small burger and a salad after that workout," Kurt grins, with raised eyebrows. "What about you guys?"
The three brothers look at each other.
"Didn't someone mention a canceled," he coughs, "... project, and some leftover funds?"
"Uh, I guess so." Gareth hesitates.
"Well, I could think of worse things to do with it than get something to eat," Kurt says pointedly, "if the money were mine."
Persuaded, the brothers each order something, and the four talk while they eat. As they pay and leave, they all say goodbye to Brianna and the chef.
--
Three weeks later, we again have business in the area of the sandwich shop. Kurt and the three brothers are playing two-on-two in the park.
"You know," Kurt says as Gareth rebounds, "you guys still haven't finished your penance."
"Foul!" Gareth calls. "Who can play with you tossing comments like elbows?"
Everyone laughs.
Robert leans on his knees, breathing hard. "Wasn't the penance to quit pushing Bree to date?"
"How many dates has she been on since I told you to knock it off?"
"Two last week, and she's got one tonight."
"So, basically, she just needed less interference from you guys." Kurt steals the ball and passes it to Bruce, who drops in an uncontested layup.
"Let's break for some food."
The brothers agree.
The four of them cross the street and enter the sandwich shop. (We follow, unnoticed, as always.)
"Hey, Bree!" Four young men chorus.
"Hi, guys, ya eatin' today?"
"Yeah. Mom'll complain, we know." Robert laughs.
"Your mom might, but I won't!" the chef calls out from behind the grill.
Brianna laughs, too.
While the four talk after ordering, Kurt watches Brianna thoughtfully.
"I don't get it." Gareth asks quietly.
"What?"
"You do like Bree."
"Yeah."
"Kurt's decided to ask her out after school starts, and he wants us to give her static about it. Reverse psychology. " Bruce explains in low tones.
"What's with the whispering?" Brianna asks from behind the counter, collecting the brothers' orders.
"Kurt says he thinks he's in love with you," Gareth replies, normal voice. "Ouch. Now he's kicking me."
"I'll kick him, too, Ddaear Tywysog." Brianna brings the brothers' orders with a laugh.
"Toy arg divvy what?" three voices ask in unison as she returns to the counter.
Kurt stands, slightly dazed. "Dywysoges Dŵr. Ti'n cofio!"
"Of course I haven't forgotten," she smiles, returning with Kurt's order. "And yes you can call me when we get to school next week and my brothers are out of the way."
Kurt looks chagrined. "You're gonna make me wait 'til we're back at school to remind me why I've been pretending we haven't met?"
"Well, I appreciate it, anyway." Brianna winks at Kurt.
"Wait," Bruce guesses, "Last summer, I let my twin sister go to Wales without me for a little family history research with Mom and Dad, because I have basketball camp. And she comes home with the coolest boyfriend that she refuses to tell us about. But I have to re-introduce you two a year later?"
"Not exactly." Kurt hedges.
"Close enough." Brianna smiles.
JMR201808181041]
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